HONOLULU, HI -- With college "kids" home from school over the recent holidays, many of their older relatives were beaten down by the assault on their ears by the younger generation's speech. Said one parent:“After sending our son to private school and enforcing the need for good grammar, he learned to speak properly at school and home. Sad to say, when he went to college and did not have that constant enforcement, he slipped into the ‘lazy’ way of speaking like all his friends. It’s sad to see someone so bright in every other way being so careless about that aspect of his life.”
She’s right to be concerned, because if he routinely uses what Honolulu author Doug Carlson calls “me and him talk,” he could find himself in a career cul-de-sac. “Leaders in business, education and the professions use standard English,” Carlson says. “They don’t say ‘me and him this’ and ‘me and her that.’ Leaders know talking like that is inappropriate in business, but a whole generation of young people have habits that make them apt to use ‘me and him talk’ at the wrong time and wrong place.”
Carlson says although “me and him talk” is how some young people stand apart from their elders, many speakers simply mimic their sports and entertainment role models and friends. “That’s OK for millionaire athletes and entertainers,” he says, “but it’s a turn-off in business. The way you speak affects your career, so if you’re a ‘me and him’ talker in a company that values standard English, you’re hurting your own prospects.”
Clean Up Your Speech!
Millions of individuals throughout America -- mostly members of the younger generation -- express themselves in ways that almost certainly limit their personal success potential in business and school. That's because they violate the conventional "rules" of grammar that are honored by nearly all successful people in business and education.
Doug Carlson argues in his new book -- Me and Him Are Killing English! -- that by simply making minor changes in the way "me and him" talkers express themselves, they can dramatically improve their chances for personal success.
Here's what an educator says about the book:
"We selected this little self-help gem for our staff as a reminder that, as educators, we are held to the highest standard in our spoken and written communications. Me and Him Are Killing English! provides this lesson with an easy humor that makes important points without the dreariness of a traditional grammar lesson. I also believe that many teachers will find the book useful in helping their students transition from the casual text-messaging conversations of teenagers to the language of academia and business."
-- Catherine Payne, former Principal, Farrington High School, Honolulu, HI
"Me and Him" is not your typical book on grammar usage; it covers the subject with a light touch -- as does Charles Memminger's column in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. Doug may be critical of the language's decline, but he's not up-tight about it, notwithstanding the column's photography.
They're Killing English!
Who exactly is killing English? Listen to how people talk. It's "me and him" this and "me and her" that; you hear it almost everywhere -- almost, but not quite. Business leaders don't talk that way!
Why should you and I (not "me and you") care? Because correct language use is absolutely essential for career advancement in business -- and often in education. Think about it: When's the last time you heard anyone with significant business responsibilities say something like: "Me and him won't comment on the lawsuit until we've read the complaint"? You've never heard them talk that way.
Even though numerous sports and entertainment heroes use "me and him" talk, it can only hurt the average person's career. Business rewards those who use the language properly, especially in customer service, so don't kid yourself: Somewhere on the career path, "me and him" won't cut it anymore.
"Me and him" defenders argue that language changes with the times and that it's acceptable for young adults to mangle English. For sure, it is a generational issue, and young people have always distanced themselves from their elders, but the evidence is everywhere that today's decision-makers in business and education -- the people who decide whom to reward with promotion and recognition -- are not "me and him" talkers. They know improper language use isn't appropriate and therefore have no incentive to reward language abusers. Conversely, those who use standard English are likely to be recognized for it.
Me and Him Are Killing English! explains the simple "rules" of grammar without reading like a grammar book. It helps "me and him" talkers lose the poor speaking habits that can slow their progress in business and education. Syndicated columnist Rob Kyff, who writes as "The Word Guy," recommended Me and Him for anyone with the "me and him" habit who's starting college or a career.
Resolved -- Better Speech NOW!
Check out this excerpt from the Honolulu Star-Bulletin and then decide if you or someone in your circle of influence is a candidate for a me-and-him conversion that will improve chances for success.
Me and Him Are Killing English! is available at Amazon.com and in major bookstore chains. You also can purchase it by clicking the PayPal link at the top of this page; the price is $7 per book, including shipping and handling. (Please note that the price on the book's cover is $5; we add $2 per book for shipping and handling of Internet orders. The PayPal page linked above for some reason fails to reflect the $7 total price for each book, even though it shows the $2 S&H charge. We apologize for the obvious confusion, but it's beyond our control.)
For more information, email author Doug Carlson -- doug@commaaina.com -- and visit his business website for Doug's background and qualifications to comment on language abuse.
5 comments:
Doug,
Saw you on the 'tele' with Kirk this morning and I'm so appreciative of you bringing this subject to our attention.I'm in fear of losing my language skills that was taught me by competent instructors.My wife,(who works as a professional) will point out my blunders.I'm 'blue collar' and I'm going to buy your book for self-improvement.
Mahalo for your attention to this subject,and sharing with all of us.
David
Thank you, Anonymous, for watching the interview on KHON and for buying "Me and Him."
Hi, I'm from England and it's perfectly normal in every day speech to use object pronouns as subject pronouns BUT only when creating a combined subject pronoun phrase. One would also order the phrase starting with the first person, then the second and, finally, the third. One would also place a singular pronoun before a plural when dealing with the third person and a male one before a female.
We would rarely say "He and I are going to town" but rather "Me and him are going to town."
The rules of language have changed a lot since Shakespeare, if it's easy to define the rules which are being used and easy to understand the meaning of the language then I don't see why some people seek to raise themselves above the populace and class it as ungrammatical.
Thanks for providing your comment from beyond the pond. I'm not in a position to offer criticism of how the English speak, although you do have a considerable history with the language. Over here, as I write in the book, business and professional leaders in their fields do not speak in the way you describe, so my advice to young people hoping for a boost in their careers is to avoid the "me and him" talk and use what seems standard for others who've already made a good showing for themselves.
I do appreciate your comment, and I hasten to add that I'm not dealing with Shakespeare's English. It's the deaviation from what goes for "standard" in America I'm addressing.
To add to what Anonymous said (I'm also from the UK), in the UK there's increasing use of the converse: the nominative in object position (as in "They gave it to he and I"). The interesting thing is that this change is coming from middle-class elite speakers, and so rapidly gaining credibility as a variant Standard English form - in a way that "him and me" as subject isn't.
But really I wonder if the whole argument is fallacious, and about class. Subject "he and I" is a marker of the speech of the educated and moneyed class; subject "him and me" is a marker of working class speech.
Is it possible that people get to being business and professional leaders mostly because they come from that educated and moneyed class (who happen, irrelevantly, to say "he and I")? If you don't come from that background, changing to the way they speak won't give you the advantages (chiefly money and connections) that got them to the top.
It's like observing that people with military medals are courageous, and fallaciously concluding that wearing a military medal will make you courageous.
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